After I had my sons, things didn't work out very traditionally. They were in the NICU and my husband and I were home. So my home life didn't change much at first. I was able to recover without being the sole caretaker of my boys. Is it the way I wanted it? No, not at all. I would MUCH rather have come home from the hospital with my boys, but you have to find the silver linings in all situations. But in all seriousness, please don't ever tell me or any other NICU mom that we're lucky we don't/didn't have to recover with a baby in the house. We feel FAR from lucky. Moving on.

When my little guys finally did come home, it was awesome! Seriously, there is nothing that I took for granted: the feedings every three hours, the dirty diapers, the laundry. I don't think I showered for like four days after they got home. And that might actually be a low estimate. But it all felt pretty great. 

After they got home, I quickly found that with two babies in the house, beggars can't be choosers when it comes to help. 

However, there certainly are some things that are more helpful than others. 

As moms we WANT everyone to love on our babies. Seriously, there are few things better than seeing our kiddos in the arms of someone we love. I was so proud the day I got to hand my baby over to my grandmother. Seeing a woman who cared for me as a baby sing my sons the same songs she sang to me? Talk about priceless. Shoot, I basically just love to hand over my babies to people just to hear them confirm all the things I know are true: that they're the cutest babies they've ever seen. 

But as moms, we also need to BOND BOND BOND with our babies. It's so critical.  Mom probably loves sharing (I do!), but don't forget that her bond with Baby is much more important than your bond with Baby. Find other ways to be a good friend and help. Help that mama take care of business so that she can take care of her new baby (or babies!). 

It can be so overwhelming to have a new baby and still feel responsible for everything that is needed to keep the house up and running. 

Laundry. Dishes. Dinner. Errands. Other Kids. Dusting. Bottles. Groceries. Personal hygiene....

Don't wait for Mom to ask you if you can help out with these things. OFFER. INSIST. 

If you're a close friend or relative, offer to help her with laundry and general housework. You don't have to deep clean, but gosh you'd be surprised what a pleasant feeling a clean bathroom can give a person. Be the magical fairy godmother who delivers that wonderful, bleach-scented gift. 

If you're a semi-close friend, offer to drive mom to appointments. She's likely on some hardcore meds or just intoxicatingly sleep-deprived and shouldn't drive. If Dad isn't able to be around to shuttle Mom and Baby to pediatrician and OB appointments, offer to be the chauffeur for the day. Offer to go pick up any medications from the pharmacy that might be needed, or to make an emergency diaper/wipes/formula/cereal/ice cream run. 

Do anything that allows Mom to relax with her new baby. She needs this time to focus on bonding. 

If you're really itching to hold Baby (who wouldn't be??) come over to hold the baby so that Mom can have a meal with both hands or take a shower AND indulge in blowdrying her hair. Offer to hold the baby while she does something that makes her feel good! 

The best help I've gotten is when food magically appears, or a grocery run is taken care of, or when bottles and pumping parts are cleaned and sanitized. And when it comes to sharing my babies, I'm so grateful for those arms that have magically appeared to hold my boys when sleep cannot be held at bay any more. The arms that show up accompanied by the melodic voice that says "Go take a nap, Nat."

Ultimately, just be there for that new mama in any capacity that she might feel comfortable with. Be conscientious. Be a good friend. 

And when in doubt, be a good friend who shows up with pizza. 

I would LOVE to hear from any mamas out there about what you think are the best ways to help a sista out after having a baby.

Stay strong, new mamas!

All week long I had been tired and cranky. I was due to start my period on October 2nd. It's like clockwork.

I woke up on October 3rd feeling groggy and kind of cheesed off at nothing in particular.

I was on the couch when I decided that I should go get donuts...I was all like "You deserve the donuts; you're PMS-ing..."

But then I was like ".....wait."

We had only just decided to start trying; I had only been off the pill a month. I wasn't even ready! Brian had talked me into it! He had been wanting a baby since last Christmas when he held one of his best friend's newborn. I wasn't even sure I was mom material! I'M NOT MOM MATERIAL OH MY GOSH.

The positive sign showed up as clear as day and so quickly, and I had a million feelings hit me all at once. Pickle and I were skipping in circles (she probably still doesn't understand why lol).

I was like "who do I call??? How do I call??? DO YOU TELL SOMEONE THAT OVER A CALL???Brian had just left for work! Should I put on makeup??? Should I just go in my pajamas??? WHAT DO I DO???"

So I called my mom. We freaked out and screamed together. Pickle and I were still skipping around.

I slapped on some makeup and a dress and checked out my bump.

It looks rounder, right? Should I start cradling it with my hand already? Is it too soon? Definitely not too soon. Just start touching it a lot. Let people know you aren't just bloated now. Am I glowing or sweating? Definitely glowing.  Or maybe sweating...is it hot in here???

I bought a tiny pair of shoes and put them in a box wrapped in red. I put the positive test in a ziplock bag underneath, just in case Brian thought I was joking.

I walked into his work with the box and asked to see him in private. He thought I had brought him a cupcake.

I'll never ever forget his face as he registered what the tiny shoes meant. His smile was incredible. He picked me up and swung me around and we hugged and laughed and kissed and jumped around. It's one of my favorite memories of all time.

He asked if I was kidding (as predicted!) and I proudly pulled out my positive test. It was awesome.

In that moment, together, we became parents. At that point, it was the happiest day of our lives.

I was mom material.